Uncategorized

Frequently Asked Questions

Since I started this fun little project, I’ve been receiving a lot of questions. I’ve compiled the most common ones here! Continue reading “Frequently Asked Questions”

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Cum Louder, Foreign Film Friday, Uncategorized

FOREIGN FILM FRIDAY: Cum Louder’s “Fucking with the Cook in the Middle of the Restaurant”

If you’re not a fan of subtitles, the comedic touches make up for them in this voyeuristic restaurant romp. I give this film one fresh (not frozen) gilt-head bream and several health code violations.

Continue reading “FOREIGN FILM FRIDAY: Cum Louder’s “Fucking with the Cook in the Middle of the Restaurant””

Nubile Films, Thirsty Thursday, Uncategorized

THIRSTY THURSDAY: Nubile Films’ Tension

Holly Michaels and Bruce Venture prove that you don’t need any fancy bells and whistles to create effective spank bank material. I give this mid-morning romp one stiff cup of morning joe, extra milk. Continue reading “THIRSTY THURSDAY: Nubile Films’ Tension”

#milf, Amateur, CANADA, EH!, Uncategorized

SHANDA FAY: Cum In My Canadian Kitchen

Shanda Fay is the Wayne Gretzky of Canadian Amateur MILF porn. Try to keep your sticks on the ice for this one, boys. I give “Cum In My Canadian Kitchen” the overtime in Game 7, Stanley Cup winning goal. Continue reading “SHANDA FAY: Cum In My Canadian Kitchen”

Amateur, Lustery, Thirsty Thursday, Uncategorized

THIRSTY THURSDAY: LUSTERY’s Fucking in the Forest

This amateur film is equal parts uncomfortable and confusing. I think I actually felt my hymen reattach as I watched this video. I give this film one prescription for Viagra, followed promptly by one click of Will Smith’s mind eraser device from Men In Black. Continue reading “THIRSTY THURSDAY: LUSTERY’s Fucking in the Forest”

Lesbian, Nubile Films, Taco Tuesday, Uncategorized

TACO TUESDAY: Nubile Films’ Dames & Diamonds

This short and sweet film manages to be effective spank-bank material while avoiding the cliches I dislike in lesbian porn. I give this film 3 Baja Fish Tacos, extra spice.

Continue reading “TACO TUESDAY: Nubile Films’ Dames & Diamonds”

Thirsty Thursday, Uncategorized, Vixen

VIXEN Eva Lovia’s Most Intense Scene

Good backstory, breathtaking cinematography, AMAZING tights. 5 fingers way in.

Continue reading “VIXEN Eva Lovia’s Most Intense Scene”