FAQ

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Since I started this fun little project, I’ve been receiving a lot of questions. I’ve compiled the most common ones here!

Why did you decide to start reviewing porn?

My friend was recently on bed rest for an extended period of time (don’t worry, she’s better now). With this abundance of free time on her hands, she did what many of us would do, and started watching lots of porn. She would send me porn links, and we would pick apart the videos. We would laugh about the ridiculous video names, screenshot the peculiar sex positions, and tell each other our favourite moments. (“Oh my god, totally awesome cream pie at 23:16, bro!”) One day I decided it would be funny to write a full on review. When another friend sent me the Vixen film, “Eva Lovia’s Most Intense Scene,” I was immediately inspired. I sat down and wrote that entire review, start to finish. I showed a few friends, and they encouraged me to keep writing the reviews, so here we are. I’ve always written, but was never brave enough to publish anything. I’m happy to say I think I’ve found my niche.

Cool job! How did you get it?

This is not my job, but rather my hobby. If you want to make it my job, please e-transfer large sums of money to thecummentary@gmail.com.

Wow, you must watch a lot of porn.

Actually, I really don’t. Previous to starting this blog, I would go through phases where I would watch porn frequently (a few times per week), and then would go long periods of time without watching any porn at all. I have a very active imagination, and most often don’t find porn necessary to get me there. Since starting this creative endeavour, my porn viewership has admittedly increased, but that’s totally just for research purposes…

How do you pick which videos to review?

90% of the videos I review are sent to me by friends. The rest I stumble upon myself.

How long does it take you to write a review?

Writing the review itself usually takes 3 or 4 hours. After that, I send it to friends and my lovely editor for feedback, spend another hour on revisions, and another hour to create the post online.

What does your family think of this?

My parents are very supportive and love the idea. My mom reads most of my articles, but told my dad he shouldn’t read it and instead just gives him the “Coles’ Notes.” My brother also knows about my website, but has not read it, as his friends have warned him not to. I don’t know if my extended family knows about it, as I hide all of my social media posts from them.

Aren’t you afraid that your employer will find out about your website?

My employer does know about my website, as do many, many, many of our clients. A VP at my company even sent me a text to tell me he was a fan of Nubile Films after I released this article.

Do you do porn?

No.

Would you do porn?

No.

What is your favourite kind of porn?

For a long time, I only watched lesbian porn. The guys in porn used to really put me off. Over the past year or so, I have expanded my horizons and I now enjoy dick in the videos I watch. I prefer films with high production value. Some of my favourite production companies are X-Art, Nubile Films, and Vixen.

You should totally review this back-alley gang bang where 28 dudes jerk off all over this woman’s face simultaneously.

No, I shouldn’t. I choose only to review films where I feel like everyone participating is being respected. If anyone participating is being degraded, I’m not down. I know there are lots of people out there who get off on that shit, but hey, I guess my site isn’t for you then.

I have an awesome video that I think you would really like!

Cool! Most of my content is sourced from submissions by friends or people on social media. So by all means, if you think you’ve found an awesome video that you want to see me write about, please email me a brief description and the video URL to thecummentary@gmail.com.

I met you somewhere and you gave me your site info. Should I email you and ask you on a date?

No, you shouldn’t. I gave you my site information because I am trying to generate website traffic and increase readership, not because I want your dick.

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